Hafizh_literature’s Blog

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon…

Demon: Why so glum  chum?
Guy:  What do you think?  I’m in hell.
Demon:  Hell’s not so bad.  We actually have a lot of fun down here…you a drinkin’ man?
Guy:  Sure,  I love to drink.  Love the drinks.
Demon:  Well you’re gonna love Mondays then.  On  Mondays that’s all we do is drink.  Whiskey,  tequila,  Guinness,  wine coolers,  diet tab, and fresca…we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy:  Gee that sounds great.

Demon:  You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it!  Love the smoking.
Demon:  Alright!  You’re gonna love Tuesdays.  We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out.  If you get cancer – no biggie – you’re already dead remember?
Guy:  Wow…that’s…awesome!

Demon:  I bet you like to gamble.
Guy:  Why  yes  as a matter of fact  I do.  Love the gambling.
Demon:  Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want.  Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever…  If you go Bankrupt…well you’re dead anyhow.

Demon:   You into drugs?
Guy:  Are you kidding?  Love drugs! You don’t mean…
Demon:  That’s right!  Thursday is drug day.  Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. or smack.  Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want and if ya overdose – that’s right – you’re dead – who cares!  O.D.!!
Guy:  Yowza!  I never realized Hell was such a swingin’ place!!

Demon: You gay?
Guy:  Uh  no.

Demon:  Ooooh  (grimaces) you’re really gonna hate Fridays.

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial-a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?”

She again replied, “Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him.”

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, you’ll be in jail within 3 minutes!”

Cintailah ilmu dengan sangat cinta, karena ilmu adalah salah satu anugerah terindah dari Allah. Rasul bersabda; Jika Allah menghendaki kebaikan bagi seorang hamba, Allah akan memberikan kepadanya ilmu/pemahaman agama. Kemalasan menuntut ilmu adalah awal kebodohan, kebodohan adalah tanda kematian hati nurani, terbunuhnya kehidupan, dan membusuknya usia.

  Jika anda menginginkan semangat yang tetap prima, tuntutlah ilmu dengan sungguh dan raihlah pencerahan, maka anda pun akan mendapati kecemasan, depresi dan kesedihan akan meninggalkan anda.

A man was out hunting. He just happened to be hunting bears. As he trudged through the forest looking for the beasts, he came upon a large and steep hill.  Thinking that perhaps there would be bear on the other side of the hill, he climbed up the steep incline and, just as he was pulling himself up over the last outcropping of rocks, a huge bear met him nose to nose.

The bear roared fiercely. The man was so scared that he lost his balance and fell down the hill with the bear not far behind. As he tumbled down the hill, the man lost his gun. When he finally stopped at the bottom, he found that he had a broken leg.  Escape was impossible and so the man, who had never been particularly religious (in fact this just happened to be a Sunday morning), prayed, “God, if you will make this bear a Christian I will be happy with whatever lot you give me for the rest of my life.”

The  bear was no more than three feet away from the man when it stopped dead in its tracks… looked up to the heavens  quizzically… and then fell to its knees and prayed in a loud voice, “O Lord, bless this food of which I am about to partake.”

 Muhd.Al-Hafizh,SS.

E_mail               : m_alhafizh@yahoo.com

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